tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72511912011-08-31T01:43:09.115-04:00Opinions are like assholes - everyone has them, and they're all occasionally full of shit.Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.comBlogger3561100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-56087860867063005232009-02-22T19:39:00.002-05:002009-02-23T13:30:21.747-05:00

Alright, after a half decade, I've run out of verbose and amusing ways to describe the schtick (or rather, I've run out of the energy and motivation necessary to craft them). Basically, I don't like the Oscars. I don't watch very many movies. And I tend to project my self-loathing outward by sardonically railing against stupid, trivial things (for proof, read the archives of this blog). For four

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-34191814079526615262009-02-16T15:46:00.003-05:002009-02-16T16:01:12.247-05:00

There's a remote possibility that someone may actually read this blog post between now and this Sunday. And if this is actually taking place, then you're about to breathe a huge sigh of relief at the following announcement: for the fifth year running, I will -- for reasons still unknown to even myself -- slog through the ridiculous treacle that is the Academy Awards for the sole purpose of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-20672704229563135382008-10-15T13:20:00.005-04:002008-10-15T13:26:10.841-04:00

What a joke. What an absolute joke, in every conceivable way. And no, I don't mean Canada's most recent attempt to qualify for soccer's World Cup... I mean Canada's most recent federal election.I'll start off by paraphrasing the line of the night by Rick Mercer on CBC -- this election cost $300 million, and the only thing it accomplished was enhancing the job security of Gilles Duceppe, a

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-73716324345265821192008-09-22T16:15:00.002-04:002008-09-22T16:46:04.918-04:00

"Canadians are stupid."Thanks, Ms. May, for uttering the truest phrase that has ever escaped the mouth of a politician.If you haven't heard by now, the federal election campaign has prompted someone to dredge up footage of an episode of The Agenda from last year wherein the Green Party leader answers a question from an audience member in the following way:Question: "If all of you seem to agree

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1255188351268075052008-07-25T01:08:00.003-04:002008-07-25T01:16:40.871-04:00

I am sitting in my living room at 1 a.m., partially sober, with the television dial stuck at something or other, and a show called "TMZ" has just come on. I know nothing about this program other than the fact that it's based on some horribly vapid, idiotic tabloid website called tmz.com that panders to the knuckle-dragging shitpiles among us whose lives revolve around the latest intricate

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-73408776348833627852008-07-03T13:31:00.002-04:002008-07-03T13:49:26.868-04:00

The Good: WALL*E. An inarticulate, trash-bundling robot with binoculars for a head tries to find love in the year 2700. Instead, he finds a planet destroyed by over-consumption and abandoned by humanity. The absolute bleakest Disney film you'll ever see, but possibly also one of the best. In addition to being amusing and meaningful, it has also severely bunched the panties of some stupid asshole

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-84563270792703837152008-06-26T19:01:00.005-04:002008-06-27T11:28:44.220-04:00

Human rights commissions have become somewhat of a conservative bogeyman in the last few years, spurred on by the likes of Mark Steyn and his unending desire to have all Muslims shut up and shine his shoes. But really, at some point, even a moderate, generally left-leaning person has to say "enough is enough" and speak out about the fact that the pendulum has probably tilted a bit too far in the

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-44944299100097559822008-04-15T09:47:00.008-04:002008-04-15T11:41:24.100-04:00

If this is democracy, then forget it. Fuck it all. Let's just all move to China right now, where we can live in peace and stability under Glorious Leader, and just give up any pretense about our ability to govern ourselves.At a private, closed-doors fundraiser, Barack Obama made some comments that the worthless, spineless North American media have boiled down to: "duh, Obama is an elitist, he

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1053850442331081742008-04-10T15:50:00.002-04:002008-04-10T16:14:22.143-04:00

Somehow, I found myself reading a copy of today's National Post. On the op/ed page was a column by Jonathan Kay who, from a quick perusal of his writing archives, seems to be just like every other employees of the Post: a staunch right-winger hell-bent on dismantling the commu-fag machine that is Canada. His piece (like so many penned by conservatives as of late) railed against the bureaucracy of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-24853155206918291862008-03-31T18:35:00.003-04:002008-03-31T22:04:43.341-04:00

Sometimes I wonder why Toronto seemingly has such a poor reputation across the country. Usually it's chalked up to perceptions of arrogance, a high crime rate, or the fact that the Leafs get broadcast coast-to-coast on Hockey Night in Canada, no matter how pitiful they are. But a few stories as of late have highlighted the fact that Toronto probably deserves at least some loathing, if for no

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-32946597005842865572008-03-30T19:12:00.003-04:002008-03-30T19:24:31.492-04:00

... and am now fully convinced that humans are, by and large, a loathsome, ignorant species fit for eradication. The sad irony is that if some alien race landed on Earth, our indescribable stupidity may actually save us, as the extra-terrestrials - if they had any capacity for pity - would consider it utterly beneath them to kill off such a hopelessly daft collection of hairless monkeys, and

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-27872878421478061112008-03-27T11:17:00.003-04:002008-03-27T14:41:58.173-04:00

Since the mainstream media have evidently abdicated their responsibilities as the fourth estate, and are now content to pursue trashy, meaningless, lowest-common-denominator taboid-style nonsense in a desperate attempt to retain an audience, it comes as no surprise that a story about a supposedly "pregnant" "man" has been making the rounds on the Internet and today found its way onto page A2 of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-32112897127985312102008-03-13T09:15:00.002-04:002008-03-13T10:35:36.551-04:00

So, to no one's surprise, Baljinder Badesha plans to appeal. Badesha, as you may recall, is the Brampton, Ontario motorcyclist who refused to pay a $110 ticket he received for riding without a helmet. Badesha claimed that he should be exempt from this law because he is a devout Sikh who is religiously prohibited from covering his turban with anything, including a helmet. Ontario Court Judge James

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-65806073642411649422008-02-24T19:22:00.021-05:002008-02-24T23:51:33.644-05:00

So I've officially run out of ways to explain why I not only voluntarily subject myself to an overblown, ridiculous display of nonsense that I profess to loathe, but also take the time and effort necessary to write an obscenely long blog post about it that no one reads. I can't even explain it to myself anymore. But tragically, this ritual has wriggled its way into my mind as an unpleasant

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-9778522591933110792008-02-22T16:47:00.006-05:002008-02-22T20:53:49.180-05:00

Forgive me if I'm being pedantic, or self-righteous, or pretentious, or condescending. Actually, scratch that. I don't mind being any of those things when it comes to this issue, one that grates on my nerves like a lawnmower on spaghetti. The issue at hand is the nearly universal misuse of apostrophes and the letter "s" at the end of words. It irks me to no end to know that, seemingly, 75% of the

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-56760616962392681182008-02-13T16:24:00.007-05:002008-02-13T16:48:34.934-05:00

I saw this ad three times today. There is no phone number, website or company name attached to it. So I decided to Google the whole mess, believing - as most people do - that any question can be answered with 30 seconds of clicking and typing. To my dismay, I found nothing. Just other folks in forums wondering the same thing: "What the hell is this ad about?"Obviously Obay is not a real product,

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-22625266089805363392008-01-31T11:20:00.000-05:002008-01-31T12:05:02.771-05:00

It goes without saying that the Toronto District School Board's approval of a "black-focused" school is regressive, outrageous, and completely condescending to the "black" community. I know it goes without saying because every forum in which the issue has been raised - in person or online - people have been overwhelmingly against it. Even those who recognize the problem of dropout rates don't

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-84624872565729107102008-01-26T20:02:00.000-05:002008-01-26T20:58:31.204-05:00

Alright, it's easy and lazy and pointless to identify and question the various hypocrisies floating around south of the border. I'll do it anyway, though. One of the most maddening such hypocrisies is the US government's willingness to decry (or even forcibly remove) foreign theocracies that suppress their citizens' freedoms, while in fact doing the same thing to its own citizens through arm's

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-89062700922580343982008-01-24T16:03:00.000-05:002008-01-24T16:29:21.742-05:00

My standard disclaimer when ranting about issues of this sort is as follows: equality of opportunity is a wonderful thing, a hallmark of our progressive, egalitarian society, and should be protected at all costs to ensure that people are not treated in an unfair manner because of some aspect of their being that is out of their control.Now then. Although there have been countless examples of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-12265116166500644722008-01-17T15:25:00.002-05:002008-01-17T15:51:42.082-05:00

In just over a month, Ontario residents will enjoy a new long weekend, thanks to the newly-created "Family Day" on February 18. A lot of people (that is to say, mouth-breathing, naive jackasses) felt that when Premier Dalton McGuinty introduced plans for the new holiday during last fall's provincial election, he was demonstrating a commitment to the working class, or to the sanctity of family, or

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-79927035815130778352008-01-07T15:31:00.000-05:002008-01-07T16:15:32.748-05:00

Therefore, it's probably one of the only things you'll deal with all day that isn't.Looking back on 2007, it was not a good year for the China "brand". Tainted food, dangerous toys and faulty products all led North American consumers to seriously question the safety of goods being manufactured in China.China is, however, just the latest whipping boy of consumption machine. Should public outrage

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-35571382184902270352007-10-09T11:07:00.000-04:002007-10-09T11:29:44.228-04:00

Alright, I realize the CBC probably has a mandate to cover news from all areas of the country, but it's still pretty ridiculous that a story about a dollar store in Corner Brook, Newfoundland is on the CBC main page. I mean, really, what could possibly be going on at a dollar store in the northwestern part of the Rock to justify such prominent coverage?High school students in Corner Brook, N.L.,

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-76542943298002391202007-08-20T20:49:00.000-04:002007-08-20T21:04:06.653-04:00

People made a big stink a few weeks back when it was discovered (or rather, made more widely known) that Aquafina and Dasani -- the bottled water brands of Pepsi and Coke, respectively -- are nothing more than purified tap water. Said people were aghast that they could be bamboozled as such. They assumed that, at $1.50 for 591 ml or whatever, they'd be getting magical water from some faraway

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-15517971970590070412007-08-02T21:27:00.000-04:002007-08-02T21:29:11.520-04:00

Goodness gracious, I haven't updated this old boy in quite a while.Well, I promise - as I have on multiple occasions before - to be more vigilant from this point forward in informing my limited online audience about my worthless opinions on inane topics.In the meantime, go to my new collaborative blog, the Sportramblers, at sportramblers.blogspot.com. I'm almost as delinquent on that blog as I am

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-92020503656301004752007-05-11T13:16:00.000-04:002007-05-11T13:22:21.312-04:00

I have an announcement to make.I am seriously contemplating my future as a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs.This is hardly cataclysmic news to anyone. In fact, in the global ranking of important news items, this surely ranks near the bottom. But I feel the need to explain myself nonetheless.It's a cliche thing to say, but, I've been a Leafs fan all my life. Born and raised in Toronto, they were all

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-63122408277446695042007-03-27T23:00:00.000-04:002007-03-27T23:27:32.957-04:00

At the risk of sounding like just another annoying Canadian who rags on American culture ostensibly out of some deep-rooted resentment or jealousy (while in fact, it's just because it's fun and easy), I've got to call out Major League Baseball on another bit of ridiculous chicanery. It's not really chicanery, per se, but how often do you see that word busted out?This Saturday, the league will

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-45679172539900610612007-03-21T19:01:00.000-04:002007-03-21T19:25:08.480-04:00

(Though this is somewhat old news, I was reminded of it today, as a third of my magazine workshop class is working on a "green" publication.) Now, you'd figure that if ever there was a time for the Green Party to strike while the iron's hot, it'd be now. Thanks to -- attribute it to whatever you want, but you know it comes down to this -- An Inconvenient Truth, there's an obscene amount of public

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-86577744473500004762007-02-26T11:28:00.000-05:002007-02-26T15:13:08.155-05:00

I hate the Oscars. The award ceremony is long, pointless and the entire event is one big circle jerk for a bunch of overpaid actors, with the occasional, perfunctory nod to some technical nerds. That being said, for the third year running, I'm recapping it, in case you can't find a recap at 65,000 other places on this Godforsaken information highway. This, however, is the first time I've watched

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1168800608830592422007-01-14T13:32:00.000-05:002007-01-14T13:50:08.853-05:00

-> As is usually the case with new technological things (see: file sharing, cell phones ...), I've overcome my initial period of unshakeable fear and hatred and given in. In this case, it means I've joined Facebook. It's still, as I'm sure most of you realize, a pointless time-waster. But damned if I don't check it most days. I mean, I need to keep updated on which people who I went to high

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1167513564316900172006-12-30T15:51:00.000-05:002006-12-30T16:19:24.356-05:00

So... here's how the year ends... the big, striking image that will represent 2006 will be the execution of Saddam Hussein.No one can seriously believe he's innocent. Or that he was a particularly nice guy. But hey, let's play a fun game here, shall we?Which of the following people is responsible for the brutal murder and suppression of untold numbers of their own people?a) Saddam Hussein b)

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1166906250237556332006-12-23T14:28:00.000-05:002006-12-25T00:33:54.766-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I know - "in other news, water is wet." But I've been out of Toronto for four months now, and almost forgot about the publication that passes itself off as a major daily in the country's biggest market. Shit, it makes the Halifax Daily News look like the Washington Post. Does that analogy make sense to anyone but me? Ah, I don't care. The point is, regardless of the fact that I'm

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1166664978030442192006-12-20T20:01:00.000-05:002006-12-20T20:36:18.053-05:00

Since "Happy Holidays" is the phrase you've heard ad nauseam for the last few weeks, here's a fun quiz: Name three holidays celebrated in December.Come on, how hard could it be? Everyone says "happy holidays," so really, we all must know exactly what holidays we're acknowledging, right?So since that filler sentence has given you time to come up with your answers, I'll tell you what your answers

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1164765201784534852006-11-28T20:02:00.000-05:002006-11-28T20:53:22.826-05:00

It's old, and redundant, and meaningless to say that no one can define for sure what it means to be "Canadian". For what it's worth, I'm of the opinion that the sorts of things that "define" other countries (common language, tradition, history, culture, geography, weather and so on) also define this one, only in reverse; our lack of unanimity in these matters from one coast to another is what

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1162146859626878302006-10-29T13:24:00.000-05:002006-10-29T13:34:47.913-05:00

A man named Paul R. Nelson is running against incumbent 3rd District Congressman Ron Kind in the upcoming U.S. election. TV newsman John Gibson has described one of Nelson's campaign spots as "the greatest political ad of all time."Hmm, sounds good. So, does it have a stirring montage of patriotic footage, with triumphant background music and a clear enunciation of Nelson's stance on key issues?

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1161908018340652582006-10-26T19:53:00.000-04:002006-10-26T20:13:38.376-04:00

So in the heated political campaigns south of the border, we've got a trailing candidate insinuating that their opponent is buddies with a rapist, another candidate appealing to visceral racial fears in the Bible belt, and a well-known blowhard pundit claiming that a man with a serious neurological disease is exaggerating his symptoms for partisan gain. Up here, what's our big political

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1161299096499999652006-10-19T18:35:00.000-04:002006-10-19T19:04:56.523-04:00

Last year, I wrote an entry that talked about the "Campaign for Real Beauty" being put on by the Dove soap company. My argument from that piece still stands: as noble or worthwhile as their message ("beauty isn't about being an emaciated Hollywood slut!") may be, they're still ultimately a profit-driven company, and their goal behind the campaign is a financial one.That being said, the campaign

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1161128887020065012006-10-17T19:36:00.000-04:002006-10-17T19:48:07.050-04:00

I'm gonna forego paraphrasing and let the real journalists sum up this one right off the bat: A 12-year-old Manitoba boy has been charged by the RCMP after taking part in a dangerous game that ended when an 11-year-year-old girl was severely burned.The children, from the Chemawawin Cree Nation in central Manitoba, doused the girl with bug spray and set her on fire as part of a game, said Staff

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1160700486829821332006-10-12T20:43:00.000-04:002006-10-12T20:48:06.846-04:00

People laughed at that ridiculous "Axis of Evil" phrase back when Dubya uttered it. And since then, what's happened?The war/crisis/conflict/battle/fuck-up in Iraq came on like a bad case of herpes.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad all of a sudden became the evillest guy in the world (at least when Hugo Chavez is keeping his mouth shut).And Kim Jong-il is making big news as he tries to fuck around with nukes.So

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1160534019140980942006-10-10T22:25:00.000-04:002006-10-10T22:33:39.173-04:00

Cory Bowles (as in, half of Cory and Trevor on Trailer Park Boys) and The Rock (as in, the guy who wants to know if you smell what he's cooking) are half-brothers. Do you see it? I dunno. I heard that today from a girl I'd just met. I assume it must be true, since nobody would ever spontaneously make up something as random as that. Keep this in mind the next time you're playing "Six Degrees of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1160441046210615612006-10-09T20:29:00.000-04:002006-10-09T20:44:06.233-04:00

If for no other reason than to give myself something to do on a regular basis, I think I'm going to try and update this stupid thing daily, or every other day. It means less extended, tangential, ridiculous rants, but more, uh, stuff. I guess. Anyway, let's see if I can throw up some thoughts and segue between them all somewhat smoothly.* I flew with WestJet for the first time this past weekend,

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1159983887415714572006-10-04T12:50:00.000-04:002006-10-04T13:48:21.960-04:00

As someone born and raised in Toronto, it is unfortunately an inescapable part of my genetic makeup to say the following words at the commencement of every NHL hockey season, regardless of how dire the prospects of the statement actually coming to fruition may be:"This is the Leafs' year!"Do I actually believe that to be the case for the 2006-2007 edition of the Maple Leafs? Whether I do or not,

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1159294361320622302006-09-26T14:05:00.000-04:002006-09-26T14:37:16.680-04:00

You've surely heard about the Bill Clinton interview on Fox News this past Sunday. Having been directed to the full video, it's just as fun as the snippets shown on the nightly news would have suggested. Perusing Google Video showed me I didn't really need to say much about it, as my new hero Keith Olbermann summed it up pretty well in the aftermath.All I will say for now is in response to the

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1158619468227193792006-09-18T18:14:00.000-04:002006-09-18T18:44:28.386-04:00

So the anticipated report from the Maher Arar inquiry was released today. By way of brief summary: Arar, a Syrian-born Canadian, was detained in New York in 2002 on suspicion of links to al-Qaeda (or however the media are deciding to spell it today) and summarily shipped off to Syria. "Extraordinary rendition" is the euphemism I believe is currently used for such a lovely practice (in other words

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1158204294995581522006-09-13T23:11:00.000-04:002006-09-13T23:24:55.026-04:00

Being in journalism school as I currently am, I've felt compelled (and by "felt", I mean "been") over the last five weeks to become more aware of the media universe surrounding me. This has entailed becoming familiar with news media personalities. Frankly, the one anchor that my resident-mates and I have spent the most time familiarizing ourselves with is Ron Burgundy. But in the time I've had to

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1157738739538057772006-09-11T20:23:00.000-04:002006-10-09T21:21:36.580-04:00

Five years later, and here we are.We're five years removed from a visually spectacular act of mass murder. The culmination of an unimaginable chain of events. The day that laid the groundwork for the climate of fear and perpetual warfare we now find ourselves in.Death begot death, the dying continues. And it will keep happening.Why? For what? Who has gained? Who has lost?What do you think?

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1157596322440246232006-09-06T22:09:00.000-04:002006-09-06T22:32:03.030-04:00

People seemed to be in legitimate shock and dismay earlier this week when the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, was killed by a stingray while, presumably, taunting it and telling a videographer how lethal an animal it was. Even though the joke of the day around my campus inquired as to whether his last word was "crikey!", people seemed to be genuinely upset. It's understandable, I guess. He was an

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1157247043754792122006-09-02T20:33:00.000-04:002006-09-02T21:30:43.860-04:00

(First off, if you've come here from Drew and Merissa's site, welcome. I'll admit that whatever you see on the main page here probably won't knock your socks off, but explore the archives and you'll find something you like. Really. Honestly. Leave comments and watch me scramble to change my opinions to suit you. It's the magic of the Internet.)As some random band is blaring barely adequate covers

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1156727663070982492006-08-27T20:58:00.000-04:002006-08-27T21:14:23.090-04:00

Yes, I'm now 25% done what is curiously titled "boot camp" here in the one-year Journalism program at the University of King's College in Halifax. (Necessary exposition in the first sentence there.) It's the first eight weeks in which, essentially, we need to do the first three years of a four-year BJourn program, in two months. Also we need to take the time to decide which streams of journalism

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1155577589812855812006-08-14T13:15:00.000-04:002006-08-14T13:46:29.843-04:00

Cumbersome title, I'll admit, but the content is pretty straightforward. Last week, it was announced, however, indirectly, that about halfway through 2008, the CBC will die.Didn't hear that news, you say?Well, I qualify this obituary with "indirectly" because the tidbit of last week to which I refer is the $1.4 billion, 10-year bid put in by Bell Globemedia for the Canadian broadcast rights to

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1154412163129758092006-08-01T01:10:00.000-04:002006-08-04T00:36:35.916-04:00

"White men make guns, no problem. Black rapper says 'gun', Congressional hearing." - Chris RockI may as well make something clear right off the bat. Deny it if you will, but the sad truth is that it's impossible to extricate issues of religion and culture from any debate regarding the long-standing unrest in the Mideast. And I use "unrest in the Mideast" as a santizied euphemism for "Israel

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1151363073409064122006-06-26T18:46:00.000-04:002006-06-28T18:14:34.813-04:00

Despite being "the world's game", it's staggering how few people actually have a firm grasp of the laws of soccer. Though it's par for the course for message boards and online forums to be horribly clogged with the incomprehensible ramblings of basement-dwelling dimwits, it's surprising when nearly all sports media also have no clue what the hell they're talking about. I'm going to briefly

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1151038955204046752006-06-23T00:30:00.000-04:002006-06-23T01:02:35.230-04:00

I'll be honest with you. I've been watching a lot of sports recently. The World Cup is ubiquitous, the Blue Jays are making a run this season, the Argos are getting underway, the Oilers made that run to the Cup finals, and even basketball is mildly interesting me, what with the Finals just wrapping up and the Raps holding the #1 draft pick sometime soon. Anyway, watching sports wall-to-wall has

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1149657031725646432006-06-07T00:08:00.000-04:002006-06-07T01:10:31.756-04:00

Considering you're reading this, you somehow managed to survive the numerologically terrifying Day of the Beast (y'know, 6/6/06). Congratulations. Now, unless you're one of those bozos who bought into that Y2K bullshit, you knew that the mere fact that the date on the calendar looked a little bit like a verboten number in Christian theology wasn't going to cause any spontaneous destruction or

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1149138888919058542006-06-01T00:42:00.000-04:002006-06-01T01:14:49.190-04:00

So let me get this straight. This week, what have we seen? On Monday and Tuesday, we saw two days in May - not July or August, May - in which the humidex reading was up over 40 degrees with lung-clogging smog so thick you could probably swipe a mason jar through the air and preserve a few cubic centimetres worth of hazy, green-grey ethereal filth for all eternity. On Wednesday, the Smoke-Free

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1148923517458880492006-05-29T13:01:00.000-04:002006-05-29T13:25:17.496-04:00

Well, there's nothing quite as nice as being roused by the sound of birds chirping, the soothing warmth of morning sunlight creeping in your window, and someone else's radio blaring the news that, unexpectedly, the TTC is on strike. Again. So that's two fare hikes, and two strikes in two years, if I'm not mistaken. This year it's the maintenance staff bitching about working a night shift, and the

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1147287719135717032006-05-10T14:12:00.000-04:002006-05-10T15:01:59.180-04:00

Some time soon (if not already, by the time you're reading this) Barry Bonds is going to hit his 715th career home run, passing the supposedly immortal Babe Ruth. If you're not a baseball fan, you can be forgiven for mistakenly believing that Ruth holds the all-time record, considering the amount of attention that's being paid to this chase. In fact, passing Ruth will put Bonds second on the

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1146766611637656092006-05-04T13:54:00.000-04:002006-05-04T14:16:51.683-04:00

People find it easy to dismiss opinions and theories that fall outside of the generally accepted explanations of things, because it makes them feel more comfortable. If you can write off those with unpopular views as "nutjobs" or "conspiracy theorists", then it saves you the trouble of having to take them seriously, and it allows you to live in peaceful contentment with the popular explanation of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1146513584149264012006-05-01T15:09:00.000-04:002006-05-01T15:59:44.196-04:00

So apparently not only is today May Day, it's the "Day Without Immigrants" in the U.S. Well, that's what it's being called by morons who think that the proposed reforms to immigration laws has anything to do with "immigrants" as a generalized group. It's about Mexicans streaming over the southern border. That's it. And it's the latest attempt by the Bush administration to distract the American

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1146113691689377582006-04-27T00:21:00.000-04:002006-04-27T00:54:51.730-04:00

Without getting into the details, suffice to say that we've got Ipperwash Redux ongoing in the southern Ontario town of Caledonia. Native blockade over disputed land claim, OPP swooping in to clear the area, local residents becoming increasingly angry, et cetera. I'm not going to go into details, because frankly I don't know them, but at the core of it, you've got a group of Six Nations members

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1145854040148185202006-04-24T00:20:00.000-04:002006-04-24T00:52:52.186-04:00

In today's Star there was a guest column where a guy opined about how coming up with one simple four-word phrase could catapult a person from obscurity into life as a cultural touchpoint, and how this task was especially easy considering that three of the words were already filled in. Yes, by simply figuring out what word best fills the blank in "the Age of _____" to describe a given moment in

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1143681462552994142006-03-29T19:29:00.000-05:002006-03-29T20:17:42.636-05:00

You've probably heard about the story last week which involved a 12-year-old girl getting stabbed in the head at 2:30 a.m. outside of the MuchMusic building. Like me, your first reaction was "that's an odd time of day to be having Aaron Carter Live@Much." Then, upon realizing she hadn't been stabbed while crying hysterically because a generic pop star almost sweated on her, but rather, she'd been

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1143222675031900562006-03-24T12:13:00.000-05:002006-03-24T12:51:15.106-05:00

As you don't recall, I made some predictions before the NHL season began about how the teams would rank. This all stems from a few years back, when I was emboldened by a correct Super Bowl prediction (Pats by 3) and foolishly began believing I actually had any business making sporting prognostications. As you'll soon see, I don't. I can't predict for shit. But then, no one really can, can they?

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1142292058698648242006-03-13T18:18:00.000-05:002006-03-13T18:59:02.433-05:00

That's because I find myself, and I would imagine some of you also find yourselves, agreeing with Stephen Harper on something. He's still an unethical, regressive and kinda scary conservative, but you've got to give him credit for going to Kandahar. Credit because, unfathomable as it may be, it's the unpopular thing to do. From the polls I've been hearing about on the news, apparently almost half

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1142142660667084662006-03-12T00:07:00.000-05:002006-03-12T00:51:00.766-05:00

This title is addressed to, of course, poker. To be precise, TV poker, which now fills approximately 95% of airtime on sports-related stations that would have previously been occupied by decades-old ESPN documentaries, children's spelling bees, and the Westminster Dog Show. Obviously there are more important, more vital and more interesting machines to be raged against. But TV poker is really

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1141576557708847402006-03-05T11:25:00.000-05:002006-03-06T13:52:05.326-05:00

Yes, this does seem like a very odd way to break a very temporary self-imposed exile. But it's on a weekend, it's on television, and it's a complete "zone out" piece of entertainment, which are pretty much the three things that keep me going right about now. Does the fact that I'm doing an Oscar report again suggest that maybe I'm more enamored of the Hollywood hype machine than I let on? No,

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1141137540670033682006-02-28T09:37:00.000-05:002006-02-28T09:39:00.690-05:00

I don't really feel up to updating this thing at this point in my life, so this blog will be on temporary (?) hiatus until... well, until it isn't. Not that this will affect your life in any way, but I figured I may as well provide an update of some kind. Cheers.

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1140705320612675902006-02-23T09:34:00.000-05:002006-02-23T09:35:20.613-05:00

Hmm. Guess I was wrong. Seems like the focus has been on Canadians' successes yesterday, as opposed to the one big failure. Or, at the very least, the two stories have been given equal billing. Congratulations, Canadian media, you've shown yourselves to be a lot more multi-dimensional than I was previously giving you credit for.

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1140645945659400402006-02-22T16:43:00.000-05:002006-02-23T09:33:53.136-05:00

So, what did Canada do at the Olympics today?They surpassed their overall medal count from Salt Lake City, making this the country's most successful Winter Olympics ever, with four days of competition left to go.They won four medals, which ties a single day record for medal count, set earlier in these Games.Cindy Klassen won her fourth medal of the Games, a record for a Canadian. Kristina Groves

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1140394885134727702006-02-19T18:57:00.000-05:002006-02-19T19:21:25.186-05:00

Look, I get it, okay? Blasphemous depictions of your religion's greatest prophet piss you off. It's sacrilege. It's heresy. You're enraged. You want those responsible to be held accountable for their actions. I understand.But "those responsible" are the editors of one newspaper. An independent newspaper. Across an ocean. Who never had any intention of disseminating the depictions beyond their own

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1139964017558978332006-02-14T19:34:00.000-05:002006-02-14T19:40:17.570-05:00

Leave Wayne Gretzky the hell alone. Nobody believes he did anything. There is no evidence he did anything. More importantly, NOBODY FUCKING CARES. This is only a story because you pack-minded hacks are too lazy to report on anything other than the same shit you cover the other 11 months of the year - the NHL. This is an entirely manufactured story by you pricks, and nobody is buying it. Let him

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1139528620000385772006-02-09T18:10:00.000-05:002006-02-09T18:43:40.066-05:00

We all got our feel good athletic story of the year so far this past Sunday, when the Steelers beat the Seahawks in a highly unspectacular Super Bowl. By "unspectacular" I of course mean "shitty", in terms of not only the quality of the game, but the quality of the officiating. Yeah yeah, everyone's gotten over that already, I know, but how is it that a touchdown is scored when the ball doesn't

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1139121824718067862006-02-05T01:03:00.000-05:002006-02-05T02:41:42.246-05:00

So for all the talk about how newspapers have become an obsolete medium, there sure does seem to be quite a bit of backlash directed at one little Danish op-ed page cartoon, doesn't there? Surely you've seen, or at least heard about, these cartoons by now, which were crude caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed and linked Islam to terrorism, a claim that was apparently so ludicrous and unfathomable

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1138764957667383452006-01-31T22:32:00.000-05:002006-01-31T22:35:57.683-05:00

Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1138402532715954412006-01-27T17:11:00.000-05:002006-01-27T17:55:32.786-05:00

DS: Holy shit, it's Captain Obvious! We haven't seen you in a while! Where have you been?CO: Wallowing in obscurity, waiting for the day when you were too lazy to form educated, nuanced opinions on current events and needed a fictional character to use as a crutch for unleashing your incoherent, bitter observations without having to account for them.DS: Ah, that's why we love you, Captain Obvious

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1138152838992635902006-01-24T19:51:00.000-05:002006-01-24T20:33:59.063-05:00

Only a day into the new Conservative regime, the dire predictions are already rolling in. Though the fears about a Tory majority foisting unwanted legislation upon a terrified Canadian populace have been temporarily allayed, the big question now is: how long will Harper's minority last? The overriding concern now seems to be that the sooner these Tories fall, the better chance there is of them

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1138085815637118112006-01-24T01:29:00.000-05:002006-01-24T13:06:29.916-05:00

It isn't "Everybody Hurts", actually. The song is "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" which, funnily enough, the establishment (okay, bar, yes, I was drinking obscenely) I watched the election results at played at the precise moment that the media outlets pretty much declared the Conservative victory. Is it the end of the world? Do I really feel fine? Well, no, truth be

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1137797125369333192006-01-22T15:04:00.000-05:002006-01-23T01:06:39.843-05:00

After spending the last two weeks or so pleading with anyone who would listen to spread the word about the foolishness of all of this party- and media-driven two-party strategic voting anti-democratic bullshit, I've had it. I'm done. There's nothing else I can say. If you're enough of an ignorant tool to vote for someone simply because a news story scared you into doing it, there's nothing else I

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1137566911859962182006-01-19T23:46:00.000-05:002006-01-20T00:07:08.096-05:00

Even though the last election was only a year and a half ago, I'm noticing a lot more people on my MSN list who've got politically-slanted names this time around. It could just be that I've added smarter people to my list in the last 18 months. Or, more likely, it could be that there's an increased sense of urgency behind this election, because there is a very real possibility of a change in

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1137195826588755322006-01-17T18:32:00.000-05:002006-01-19T00:30:16.476-05:00

Yeah! I mean, look at our federal leaders debate! Four guys! That's like, twice as good as those stupid neanderthal Americans! I mean, how can you be expected to make a conscientious choice when you've only got two options, who are just two guys ragging on each other? We're above that "you're with us or you're against us" American bullshit! We're enlightened Canadians, with an enlightened

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1137218689365151362006-01-14T00:23:00.000-05:002006-01-14T01:04:49.426-05:00

As much as I wanted to write something about the former U.N. worker who paid thousands of dollars to bring a woman he met in the Congo and her three children to live with his family in Ontario, only to learn she was pregnant and toss her out into the snow, I realized I couldn't do it without sounding like a totally compassion-less prick. I am that, of course, but what with the politics, there's

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1137112650746926172006-01-12T19:21:00.000-05:002006-01-12T19:37:30.786-05:00

Well, that's obviously not true, since that title is shared by Owl and Chickadee. But when I took my last blog entry, complaining about the Toronto Star's January 10 front-page headline "Tories head for majority", and condensed it by about 4000%, the editorial board at that paper deemed it worthy of publication. So in today's Letters section, you'll see the following:Tory majority not a

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1136924514573361592006-01-10T13:56:00.000-05:002006-01-11T00:46:30.723-05:00

Today's front-page headline of the Toronto Star is as follows: Tories head for majority. My jaw dropped when I saw it. No longer is partisan, alarmist nonsense purely the domain of the Sun and National Post, it appears. Sure, everyone's aware of the Star's political leanings, but to publish such a patently ridiculous headline shows what they're now willing to stoop to in order to accomplish a

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1136881927059928842006-01-10T02:57:00.000-05:002006-01-10T03:32:07.116-05:00

Since two hours is far too long to devote to any one piece of programming (unless there are giant explosions, erect nipples or giant, exploding, erect nipples involved), nobody watched the second English-language federal leaders debate last night. If you missed it, you missed quite a show! It was... ah, who am I kidding. It was the same old bullshit political rhetoric as always. Martin and Harper

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1136790721310325952006-01-09T01:38:00.000-05:002006-01-09T02:12:01.366-05:00

Fuck. Shit. Cocksucking motherfucker. Dick. Dipshit. Fuckity fuck fuck shit. Bananas.The Internet sure is a liberating place when it comes to "dirty" language. Had George Carlin grown up in the Internet Age, he would not have become rich and famous, but rather (possibly) homeless and destitute. But now, all it takes to transmit obscene words and phrases (that would have made Lenny Bruce blush) to

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1136527538408826482006-01-06T00:13:00.000-05:002006-01-09T02:13:58.273-05:00

Many people called 2005 the Year of the Sequel in Hollywood. Or was that 2004? Maybe 2003? Anyway, anyone who's been to a multiplex in the last few years knows that there's a ludicrous glut of sequels and franchise extensions being produced. True, it's tough to argue against the production of followup films in franchises like Harry Potter, LOTR and Spider-Man. But for every one of those

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1136269016030223152006-01-03T00:24:00.000-05:002006-01-03T17:40:29.740-05:00

***More and more, the word "blogosphere" is being thrown around by people acting as if they have a finger on the pulse of the generalized Internet population. Truth is, they don't. The so-called "blogosphere" (as it's usually defined) is just as elitist and esoteric as politics and the mass media, incidentally the two favourite subjects of these uber-bloggers. You cannot get a true concept of the

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1135748482184982902005-12-31T16:54:00.000-05:002005-12-31T16:50:56.226-05:00

Though I did get some good things done in 2005, the year as a whole was terrible, and much like 2001, I (along with a large portion of the population) will be very glad to see it go. Not because I honestly believe that something as artificial as the number changing from "5" to "6" will suddenly change my or anyone else's fortunes, but because it's one of the few ways that optimism crawls its way

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1135825078230153632005-12-28T21:26:00.000-05:002005-12-28T21:58:01.690-05:00

Torontonians' false sense of security was shattered a few days ago when a crew of young, hopeless shitheads surprised the world by proving they were evolved enough to possess the opposable digit required to operate firearms. So now, likely because one of these extra-chromosome wastes of human tissue thought that one of these other festering, life-size pustules of excrement looked at him the wrong

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1135552499613575562005-12-26T01:14:00.000-05:002005-12-26T01:18:42.953-05:00

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1135491130297094822005-12-25T00:43:00.001-05:002005-12-27T19:32:30.483-05:00

Today is Christmas or, if you're not a practicing Christian - well, it's still Christmas, so deal with it. Clearly, if you're surfing the Internet (in particular, useless websites like this) on December 25, you're not using the day for its intended purposes: exchanging poorly thought-out last-minute gifts with relatives you rarely talk to, gluttonously gorging on steroid-filled turkey, and

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1135133785921003282005-12-20T21:49:00.000-05:002005-12-20T21:56:25.940-05:00

I've compiled the following stories and thought they may make an interesting temporary diversion. You'll notice two similarities between the stories: they all involve people being overly sensitive in some way, and the second commonality will probably become clear to you after reading all three.#1: In November of 2002, a National Football League broadcaster received some local negative press

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1134690821237294932005-12-15T18:51:00.000-05:002005-12-15T18:53:41.240-05:00

Dear Mr. Wilkins:Shut the fuck up.Yours truly,CanadaP.S. Suck our Gamecocks.

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1134170118651652112005-12-09T17:10:00.000-05:002005-12-10T02:26:10.133-05:00

With an election and Christmas going on, we all need a respite. Hockey seems to fit the bill. If that's a little too predictable or cliche for you, bite me.Before I get to how my pre-season predictions are doing, I'd like to quickly address the situation surrounding who will end up making the 2006 Canadian men's Olympic team. Steve Yzerman, being the hero that he is, rightfully pulled himself

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1133932992360004962005-12-06T23:47:00.000-05:002005-12-07T00:23:12.396-05:00

The draw for next summer's World Cup happens this Friday, and undoubtedly, hundreds of thousands of Torontonians will tune in with great anticipation about which group their "real" country is going to end up in. Which will be this year's Group of Death? Who will reigning champions Brazil draw? Who could possibly emerge from Germany as the 2006 champions? Will Brazil claim an unprecedented 6th

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1133241615616403452005-11-29T00:19:00.000-05:002005-11-29T14:45:02.963-05:00

That's a bad and irrelevant joke, since Congress is an American institution, and the actual opposite of "progress" - as Jon Stewart rightly pointed out - is "regress".Anyway, anarchy in Canada! The government has fallen! Parliament has been dissolved! Society has been tossed into turmoil and uncertainty with... pffft, ha. Okay. I couldn't keep a straight face there. I guess you'll just have to

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1133150265951542342005-11-27T22:31:00.000-05:002005-11-27T22:57:45.996-05:00

According to a study done at Sheffield Hallam University (in between the study on whether ducks prefer jazz or blues and the study on how jaywalking can lead to birth defects, I assume), a person's text messaging style can be a very good indicator of that person's gender, even with all of the restrictions of the text messaging form. The study said that messages between men tended to be "brief,

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1132898495340065732005-11-25T00:00:00.000-05:002005-11-25T01:01:35.416-05:00

Yes, you may have been fortunate enough to hear the remarks earlier this week by local Liberal Member of Parliament Dan McTeague, who claims that Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent, aka the man who, right now, is probably quite literally shitting gold bricks, should be banned from Canada! Usually this sort of ridiculous political edict is brought down by ass-backwards Pacific Rim countries, fearing that

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1132679919125506482005-11-24T00:44:00.000-05:002005-11-24T00:46:40.416-05:00

Hating people seem so outdated in our society, but around the world, hating people is all the rage. Literally. So I'm going to do my small part to reacquaint you with your guiltiest of pleasures, that cathartic little emotion called hatred.People I Hate #1: Ticket scalpersDon't be fooled by those who'd tell you scalpers are providing a "valuable service" or are "fighting the system" or some such

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1132554795661572852005-11-21T23:48:00.000-05:002005-11-22T19:47:11.210-05:00

Let's make one thing clear, if it wasn't already. The phrase "Happy Holidays" is bullshit.Though there are several religious holidays observed in the month of December, nobody can celebrate more than one of them. Nobody can have "happy holidays", plural - they can only have a happy whatever-it-is-they-do. Feel free to wish someone merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Eid Mubarak, or awesome Kwanzaa.

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7251191.post-1132290565991202482005-11-17T23:55:00.000-05:002005-11-18T00:09:26.006-05:00

I saw an article posted online, originally from the Ottawa Citizen, in which an OPP officer claimed that only 5 to 9% of 911 calls in Eastern Ontario are for legitimate emergency situations. The majority of calls to the number come from idiots pulling pranks, or morons doing stupid things like asking for road directions and reporting clogged toilets. The article says there can be upwards of

Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10016077859871335774noreply@blogger.com0